A couple of days ago, Mitch told me about this website called Forty Days Of Dating. It's about these two friends who don't seem to have the best luck in the dating department for whatever reasons and decide to date each other for forty days straight, documenting the whole thing. Kinda interesting, yeah? Well go ahead and check it out and read all about it! (Extra, extra!) I've been consumed with it for a good while now. Reading through their blog and emotions about the project, Jessie (the girl) brings up "The Scarcity Principle." It basically explains why we want what we can't have- the whole "hard to get" shpeal.
So Jessie goes on about the whole when you're really interested in someone, but they don't reciprocate the same feelings, or how when someone is really into you and you're just...not. And while reading it, I was like "Huh...yeah, why is that?" Apparently, "The Scarcity Principle!"
I've definitely had those times when I was more interested in a person than they were, I mean...embarrassing to admit but hey, that happens. Not gonna lie, it does suck when it happens but reading about the Scarcity Principle helped to put things in perspective. Questions like, was it worth it? Did I really even like them? Or does the fact that they aren't so ga-ga over me as I am them, just bugging the crap out of me that keeps me drawn to them in some weird way...?
In some ways, I kinda compare this to when you find out someone doesn't like you in general and you're like, "BUT WHY!?" and if you really care, you try to change their minds.
Then, when they don't...sometimes it just stumps ya and ya can't figure out why. "But...But...I'm cute...But...But...we both like the same music...But...But...they told me about their dreams...and their fears...and we had so much fun!....WHY!" And sometimes, it can drive you insane. You're thinking about it nonstop, racking your brain over and over about what possibly went wrong. Thinking about what you might have done that turned them away. It ain't healthy, folks!
One of the times that I realized I was a player in this principle was one of the most confusing times. I was breaking at the seams with questions, replaying moments over and over in my head, and just getting so mad at myself for basically, not being likable! It was not fun. Then, I thought about the whole "it being worth it" stuff. As much as I thought he was really cute, had a quirky-silly side to him (that I liked), liked A Tribe Called Quest as much as I did, was a little weird in the most interesting way (which I liked even more), and was just super chill all around...I knew we were incompatible in so many ways. We had a lot of awkward silences, often ran out of things to talk about (you know it's bad when aliens come up), and just could not figure each other out at all. But, he knew that before I did and that's what probably got me all crazy!
Lesson learned, it's okay if someone doesn't like you in a friendly way or even a romantic way. Some people are better off as friends than lovers and THAT'S OKAY. So, don't go thinking something is wrong with you because you are just going to make yourself crazy and you don't need that! I'm sure we've all come across people in our lives who were interested in us and you were completely like, "...no..." Or, someone was so interesting and you get to know them and you realize, "...no..." It happens to the best of us. But, every little thing is gonna be alright! Jah feel?
