If I were to tell the smartest and wittiest joke in a room full of people, only two people would laugh. The first person, would be me. The second would be my best friend, Michelle.
Why no one else is laughing is beyond me...because I've been told I should write a joke book. (Best piece of advice I could've ever given myself).
But, back to Michelle.
No, not that Michelle.
This one.
A long time ago, I hated her. (Okay, hate is a strong word. But I really really didn't like her). So one day, we did what any other brave middle schooler would do...we got into a fight over AIM. A little b-word here, a cute little f-word there, and all of a sudden we were like, "Wait, why are we doing this again?" Oh yeah, 'cause we're in middle school and make no sense at all. And then we became friends. And then all we used to do was have deep talks. We were just two serious Sallys.
Okay, more like serious model-sloths.
Then one day, we went out with a group of friends and she was cracking jokes left and right. And in my head, I was like "Okay, this girl's got JOKES!" And I was shocked because if we weren't talking about life or boys, we were seriously only working on school projects together. So, she says something and we all laugh and I say, "I didn't know you were so funny!" Thus, beginning the start of a beaaauuutiful friendship.
If I were to ever go out and didn't want my parents to grill me about it, all I had to say was "I'll be out with Michelle" or "I'm with Michelle" and they would make a sigh of relief (like, "Phew, it's not the end of the world" sigh of relief). Then one day, I said "I'm going out with Mitchell, bye!" And they were like:
And then Michelle walks in and my mom's like
Just another one of my stupid jokes.
Thus, started her nickname Mitchell. Seriously, my whole family calls her that. And whenever I hear anyone else call her that I'm just like:
Now, all we ever do is eat, make Spongebob references ("Where am I?" "The Lid...the lid...the lid..."), take stupid pictures, never take pictures, send stupid pictures, pretend we're Maya Rudolph & Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids, watch (500) Days of Summer and Crazy Stupid Love together like 50 million times, go to concerts together, make stupid comments on each other's Instagram (Okay, that's just me), next thing you know--we're going to be shopping for wheelchairs together (that's happening next week, so check for my post about it). This girl is literally my life. If we go too long without seeing each other, I'm seriously all outta whack! My mind's crazy, I can't make the right decisions anymore, no one's getting my jokes, and then I start talking like a crazy person! (Think Porky the Pig and Quagmire). But once I get my much needed dose of some Mitchy-lovin, I'm sane again!
We are so alike and so different in many ways, but this lady knows me better than I know myself. And even though her cat, Effie, pretty much attacked me (I know, what the effie right?) and you were just like
I ain't got nuthin but love for ya.
So, lately, I've been thinking all crazy, coming up dry with jokes, talking like a "giggity giggity goo" and a "dee ba dee ba dee," and basically just missing my Mitch altogether! Today, we finally got to hang out after a whole 3 weeks (!!!) And what was the perfect way to reunite? A little lunchy date and some fro-yooo, heyyy-o!
So, if you see me and I'm being reasonable, looking both ways before I cross the street, spitting jokes like a Kevin Hart protegee, and speaking in perfect sentences...It's 'cause Michelllllll(rrrr)e did it!
Ew, it's not even her birthday and she gets that cake cake cake cake cake a whole post about her. We're in too deep in this friendship, I already can't go more than three weeks without her!
Plus, she already knows too much, so I'm kinda stuck with her.
Did you know: I once wrote and directed a mini-show and Michelle was the star in it?!
Ch-ch-ch-check it out, wh-wh-wh-wh-what it's all aboouuuut! (Skip to 2:25!)
*Made for educational purposes only!*
(It was an English project on Frankenstein of course!)
