And I haaate this label. Actually, I hate a lot of labels, but this one is just the hardest to bear. Sometimes, just knowing people expect my downfall--it motivates me to do the opposite. Not only to kinda stick it in their face, but to show myself that "Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
Unless, we're dealing with dolls and haunted houses...Because otherwise...goodbye.
I'm not going to try and paint myself as perfect because I am far from it. Like, this is me:
I have a tendency to over-think and over-analyze everything. Relationships, riddles, decisions, first impressions, you name it, I probably thought your "Thank you" was actually, "Hey, I like you, let's get married, have two kids, the end."
Okay, not that crazy, but you get what I mean.
The "over-doing" comes from my fear of letting things intimidate me, more than I should let them. That's right, I said more than I should let them. If I let my mind continue to play its worse-than-jedi-mind-tricks, I might as well live in a bubble, afraid of everything and not wanting to take any chances.
In my house, I talk a lot, joke around a lot, sleep a lot, and dream a lot. I say this because so many times in my life I've said "I want to be this" "I'm going to do that," and my sister's favorite "I'm going to be valedictorian." --to which my parents gave a less than satisfying reaction, making it my sister's favorite thing to bask and boast about (siblings, I tell ya). One day, I said something and my dad replied with, "You're full of dreams."
To which I took as a compliment.
The number one phrase I hate is this one "be practical."
Well, how about you be--shut-up!
I dream big things and great things for myself because I want to live a happy life. And I want to travel the world, do that cute thing in "A Walk to Remember" where I'm in two places at once, do nothing but binge-watch the entire saga of "Star Wars" in a Chewbacca robe, zipline through Jamaica, encapsulate the memory of my mother through literature, marry a musician, not marry at all, have 2 kids, have no kids at all, eat a doughnut a day without gaining any el beez, and move to the city. Are you keeping up?
Sometimes, when I really want something and work my way to do it, all of these doubts come at me like knives and I freak out. "What if I'm not good enough?" "What if I mess this whole thing up?" "What am I doing? Of course I won't be able to do this!" I suddenly become afraid of the bigger picture that I always loved and if I listen to those doubts and let the fear engulf me, I lose out on a really good chance. May not be guaranteed, but at least I would've tried. Even when you're certain all hope is lost, you just never know, you might surprise yourself of what you're capable of.
So, I avoid dealing with the situation at all and put it off time and time again, with "I'll do it later" or "I'm in a really good mood right now, I don't want this to ruin it." Anyone else do that or is that just me?
Well, that is not at all, in any way, shape, or form, how to deal with anything. Especially if it means a lot to you.
Okay, not that crazy, but you get what I mean.
The "over-doing" comes from my fear of letting things intimidate me, more than I should let them. That's right, I said more than I should let them. If I let my mind continue to play its worse-than-jedi-mind-tricks, I might as well live in a bubble, afraid of everything and not wanting to take any chances.
In my house, I talk a lot, joke around a lot, sleep a lot, and dream a lot. I say this because so many times in my life I've said "I want to be this" "I'm going to do that," and my sister's favorite "I'm going to be valedictorian." --to which my parents gave a less than satisfying reaction, making it my sister's favorite thing to bask and boast about (siblings, I tell ya). One day, I said something and my dad replied with, "You're full of dreams."
To which I took as a compliment.
The number one phrase I hate is this one "be practical."
Well, how about you be--shut-up!
I dream big things and great things for myself because I want to live a happy life. And I want to travel the world, do that cute thing in "A Walk to Remember" where I'm in two places at once, do nothing but binge-watch the entire saga of "Star Wars" in a Chewbacca robe, zipline through Jamaica, encapsulate the memory of my mother through literature, marry a musician, not marry at all, have 2 kids, have no kids at all, eat a doughnut a day without gaining any el beez, and move to the city. Are you keeping up?
Sometimes, when I really want something and work my way to do it, all of these doubts come at me like knives and I freak out. "What if I'm not good enough?" "What if I mess this whole thing up?" "What am I doing? Of course I won't be able to do this!" I suddenly become afraid of the bigger picture that I always loved and if I listen to those doubts and let the fear engulf me, I lose out on a really good chance. May not be guaranteed, but at least I would've tried. Even when you're certain all hope is lost, you just never know, you might surprise yourself of what you're capable of.
So, I avoid dealing with the situation at all and put it off time and time again, with "I'll do it later" or "I'm in a really good mood right now, I don't want this to ruin it." Anyone else do that or is that just me?
Well, that is not at all, in any way, shape, or form, how to deal with anything. Especially if it means a lot to you.
"You cannot change what you refuse to confront."
-someone, somewhere on tumblr.
So, I'm here to say what you haven't already heard before, but I firmly stand behind it. Because, I, too, will be taking my own advice. If you are brave and bold enough to dream it, then you sure are brave and bold enough to face it. Don't ever sell yourself short of anything, there's a spark inside you, waiting for you to take full reign of it. Just like you should. It's up to you to live the dream, so...getterdone.
Face those fears.
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