Life Update

4/10/17

After being crazy busy these past four months, I've been feeling pretty defeated. Like even the smallest bump in the road would make me feel so bummed out. But with great friends and great music, there was a night where I felt completely motivated to do so much. Of course, I know previous nights like that I would be up until 4 a.m. just on a roll and then feel so burnt out. Which can be good, but in my case, I knew I needed to take it one step at a time. If it's cleaning my room, I'm focusing on one area, or if it's trying to take time to just chill then I'm saying 'no' to outings or even TV, so I can get back to reading or listening to podcasts (currently binging on 'S-Town,' so freakin' good). My biggest challenge has been with trying to eat better, I think that's what's also messing with my moods. On really stressful days, I'm winding down with comfort foods and I tend to get really lazy. Now, I'm all about--I could really use a good green smoothie, or some eggplant parmesan or a really good salad, and then I notice this motivational high continues.

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The truth about humility

4/9/17

I'm a constant work in progress. I'm always learning and always looking to grow. Whoever came up with the term "growing pains" was right. I don't know much growth that didn't require me to lose a limb or two, my mind or my heart.
I've put my heart through a lot of grief lately. And the hard part about it is that I've only done it with the good of intentions. I weighed the pros and cons and looked the number 1 risk straight in the eye, and did it anyway. And it hurt. Oh man, did it hurt. Because here was the truth, and this time it was looking at ME.
It all depends on how you react to things, and for my own goal to always be a better version of myself- I'm so into finding how to get there.
I lost out on a really great opportunity- ok, how can I do better for next time?
I lucked out on a guy- oh well, there's others and probably, a million times better.
Someone doesn't like me- how can I invest my time in things that matter than dwelling on this?
My church's young adult group started a series on humility, and we've spent time diving deep into its meaning and how we can be exemplars of this virtue. We've reflected on different prompts including our most difficult tasks, forgiveness, selflessness, as well as the many other traits from Saint Mother Teresa's Humility List.

"True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less."
-C.S. Lewis

Becoming a better version of ourselves will always be a journey, an incredible learning process. What we're asking for is within reach. And let's face it, 99% of the time, we won't get to it the way we imagine. We'll come across roadblocks, a shift in direction or even a pit stop longer than expected - it's all preparing us for that bigger picture. A simple act of kindness, faith in desolate times, keeping to your own affairs, and trusting that God will provide when you feel poor- in finances and spirit- will go such a long way. Sometimes our subtle gestures create a greater impact on the lives of others not visible to us. While you think the end of your journey is to one specific thing you can see, you'll actually pick up on little moments of joy that'll only make your journey that much greater when you get to the end...what ever that might be for you. And that might even be just experiencing that joyful feeling once and having that change you forever. 
And I hope you remember that even during this journey of becoming the person you are, you will also meet the person you are not. And transforming away from that person will be hard, but that's not something to be discouraged of. Not at all. You're just that much closer and deeper into your journey.
I leave you with this video that has circulated the internet, making such a powerful statement (though its actual purpose for a life insurance company is a little confusing lol). 
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